Back Before...

20 years old.
I'm not an old guy by any means.
I mean I only turned 20 two weeks ago.
However, I feel as if I've lived through, and have experienced so much.

You know, we spend a majority of our younger years anticipating.
Anticipating being able to drive at 16.
Being able to watch R-Rated movies at 17.
Loathing the wait for high school to be over.
Becoming legal at 18, and dreading the time it'll take to legally drink at 21.

It's like we spend the first 20 years of our lives, waiting.
Waiting for something to happen.

Why do we do that?
Why don't we enjoy, instead?

I bet back before society...before work, before titles, governments, buildings, money, cars, licenses, degrees, systems, regulations, laws and standards...age was simply just the amount of time someone had been alive. Nothing more, nothing less. Life was ageless. It was truly...life.

So many times I catch myself wishing I could go back to high school. Wishing I could go back to elementary school even. Where there were no cares except getting up for school, and playing safely afterward. When we didn't know what true love was, yet loved anyway. When nothing had tainted our imaginations...when society didn't place rules on our lives or standards to meet. Back before we knew what "God" wanted for us other than to smile and feel love.

Don't get me wrong, I love my life. I love my family, my friends, my experiences and my opportunities/talents. But I can't help but wish to go back and live before all of this. To look into the vast open fields with nothing blocking my view. No tall buildings, or grungy roads. Back when life was simply about providing for your family by using the gifts of the world. Water, air, food and warmth. Back when human beings only knew moral laws. Of course we've always been flawed, but to think of how much the flaws have grown because of religion, society, hatred and discrimination, hurts.

If only people could learn to truly live, and not just exist, the world would be so much easier to live in, because then people would learn to value life and not just "wait" for it to end. Because then, people would learn to love themselves and as a result, love others. Of course there's no way to rid of the pollution, the sky scrapers or the nuclear factories...but it is more than possible for each person to learn to live. Regardless of gender, sexual orientation, life situation or life experiences...there is always hope. There is always faith...and there is always love.

-Jacob Andrew